The Princess and the Dragon

This is the story about a princess,

Which begins rather sad,

For when Sophie was a little girl

She lost her mum and her dad.

Princess Sophie was taken then

By her wicked uncle Ming,

Whose only ambition in life was

To become the country's king.

'I'll marry you when you're big enough

To wear a wedding gown.

Till that day you'll be locked away

In a castle far from town.'

Poor Sophie was imprisoned

In a drafty castle, dull and grey,

With an enormous dragon sat outside

To stop her running away.

The dragon had teeth like knives

And a long forked tongue;

Flames puffed from his nose;

His breath smelled like a badger's bum.

But the world famous league of

'Knights Who Save Damsels In Distress'

Decided saving Sophie would

Make a fine manly test

They vowed to rescue Sophie

And smite the dragon dead,

And defeat wicked uncle Ming's plan

To put a crown apon his head.

With swords and spears for battle

(And scones and tea for their rest),

One by one each knight took on

This awful dangerous quest.

But alas whilst every knight

Was allowed to step in the castle door,

The minute they stepped out again

The dragon gave a fearsome roar.

Some knights it ate up – Gulp!

Others it burnt to crispy toast,

But squishing knights flat was

The thing it enjoyed the most!

After many years there remained

Only one poor little knight,

His name was Edgar, and the trouble was

He did not like to fight.

But nonetheless he polished up

His sword and his thermos flask,

And off he went on shaky legs

To attempt the fearful task.

Outside the castle Edgar stood

Wobblying like a jellyfish

And spluttered: 'Em, eh, hello,

I'm here to rescue you, dear Miss.'

Sophie was suprised to see a knight

Who wasn't all muscles and mustache,

Whilst Edgar blushed shyly

Then gave a nervous laugh.

As fast as lightening love zapped

Between each of their hearts,

And he and she gazed at the other

Whilst giving little gasps.

Outside the dragon flexed

Its mighty metalic form;

Its wings stretched, its mouth snarled;

sunlight flashed from its horns.

As poor Edgar stepped outside again

He heard a terrible crash,

And saw that beast whose very breath

Turned mighty rocks to ash.

But then the little knight stopped

Quaking with shame and fear,

For he saw something most curious

As the terrible beast drew near.

As it roared the monster rubbed

A talon across its belly,

Whilst from its rear did appear

a yellow gas so smelly.

'The poor creature has indigestion,'

Whispered Edgar to the princess,

'A fizzy drink should set it right, I think,

Well more or less.'

Side by side our heroes stood

Shaking cans of fizzy pop.

The dragon opened its fearful mouth...

And they threw in the entire lot!

The beast suddenly leapt upwards,

Then landed upside down,

Its wings twitched weirdly

Whilst it legs flapped around

It rolled about the ground so hard

T'was like an earthquake,

Its eyes birled, its bottom whistled,

Its great belly began to shake.

The creature lept behind a rock,

There came a PLOP and a gasp.

Then: 'Is there any toilet roll?'

They heard the creature ask.

Later, while the dragon savoured

A life of happy tummy bliss,

Sophie and Edgar shared

Their very first kiss.

Then the grateful dragon

Invited them to sit on its back,

And with a roar and a leap

His mighty wings did flap.

Off the friends flew then,

The dragon, the boy and the girl,

To seek new adventures

All around the world.

Copyright © 2011 Rab Swannock Fulton

All Rights Reserved

Images © 2011 Marina Wild