The Adventure of the Pirates and the Mermaids

Captain 'Shiver Me Timbers' Sharkey

Was the greatest pirate king,

He fought a thousand navies

And every battle did he win.

Captain Sharkey had a beard, a wooden leg

And a sharp metal hook,

A parrot on his shoulder

That gave you a wicked look.

With his pirate crew he sailed

The seven seas so green,

Chasing clues of fish-tailed girls

- The bonniest ever seen.

On a distant treasure island,

Inside a silver studded yam,

He found an ancient map showing

Where the pretty mermaids swam.

The pirates dodged giant icebergs

With penguins forty foot high,

Endured terrible tempests that spat

Seashells in their eyes.

They fought a monstrous squid

With scales of gold and brass

Till our manly heroes came

To the mermaids' realm at last.

There were the mermaids

Swimming in the glittery sea,

Coral clips in their hair

And flipping their tails with glee.

They were leaping over dolphins,

Tickling tigersharks' tums,

Singing songs to starfish,

Learning secrets from their mums.

'Shiver me timbers!' cried Sharkey,

'We've come to make you our wives,

So leap aboard me fish-tailed girls

For the adventure of your lives!'

'Talk to the hand, old man,'

Cried the boldest of the aqua maids,

Whilst her friends blushed and whistled,

Blew kisses and waved.

Captain Sharkey turned to his men

And whispered, 'Lads, it's war.'

They got the ship's cannon all loaded up,

Lit the fuse, and then ROAR!

The cannon balls flew boom boom boom

But the mermaids just laughed,

And whacked the balls with their tails

As the hairy pirates gasped.

Down went the top sail

And the poop deck blew apart,

But 'Shiver Me Timbers' Sharkey

Just gave a big pirate laugh.

On the terrible battle went

With neither side looking the winner,

When suddenly the pirates realised

It was time for their dinner.

Broken masts were all around,

The poor boat's frame did quake,

But 'Shiver Me Timbers' Sharkey managed

To cook a lovely pasta bake.

'Mmmmm,' sighed the mermaids,

'What is that lovely smell?'

'We'll give you a bit if yi stop hitting us,'

Brave Captain Sharkey did yell.

The fearful thunder of war did cease

And the ocean breathed calm and slow

As the pirates lowered plates of grub

To the mermaids down below.

Well those ladies had never

Ever tasted such a thing,

All their life they'd eaten only fish

Which was really rather boring.

'Can you clean?' they asked

With a simper and a blush.

'Shiver Me Timbers!' cried Sharkey,

'I'm a devil with the brush.'

'If you promise to be clean

And cook us a meal every day,

We'll marry you,' said the mermaids,

'We'll marry you right away.'

So Sharkey and the pirates packed

Dustpans, brushes, pots, forks and knives,

And went down below the waves at last

And got a heap of lovely wives.

Copyright © 2010 Rab Swannock Fulton

All Rights Reserved

All images © Marina Wild 2011